4 MINDSETS THAT ARE HOLDING YOU BACK
*Outfit notes - I wasn't able to find any of these online anymore, but the jacket is from Old Navy, the boots are Solsana and the jeans are Baldwin. I've linked up some similar ones below!
Lately, I've been eager to dress for Spring, but the weather hasn't been on the same page, so jackets and jeans are still everyday styles. I actually love light jackets because I get cold easily year-round and with a light jacket I can easily scrunch the sleeves up.
This camo jacket is the perfect weight for Spring. I got the camo one I'm wearing above a couple of years ago, but linked up to another one. I really never realized I would wear camo as much as I do. It's surprisingly versatile like any other neutral piece you own.
The cami I'm wearing is my favorite white silk cami from Tibi. I've had it for years and I love the way it fits and that the white isn't too sheer where your bra shows.
Now that it's Spring, I've been thinking a lot about Spring cleaning and not just my home, but my mind. I've learned a lot about mindset work over the last 2 years, especially during my 17-month coaching training program.
It's easy to feel like everything that happens throughout the day determines if we have a good day or a bad day. The truth is, our how are mind processes the day is what determines if it's been a good or bad day.
When we don't have the right mindset, our minds allow everything external to hold the blame and keep us in a negative space or we rely on what's external to bring in the positivity.
Our mindset is deeply rooted and can come from how we've been raised or experiences that happened when we were little and we've allowed ourselves to accept them as "that's just the way things are." However, when we can really dive in deep and see where these mindsets came from, we can bring them to the surface to see if they're really serving us or if it's time to get rid of them.
Sometimes mindset shifts can be easy and other times it can take years to bust through. I wanted to share some common mindsets for 20-30 somethings, since most of y'all are in that age range, that may be keeping you from living your best life and where to get started to bust through these blocks.
I don't have enough time
This is a BIG one. How many times do we say to ourselves "I don't have enough time" to do something that you'd LOVE to do, that would totally light you up and would be something that you'd be totally passionate about.
It could be painting, starting a blog, getting a manicure, reading a book. It doesn't matter how big or small the thing may be, but we more often find ourselves saying that we don't have enough time for it.
In school and at work, we've been trained to say that we're too busy for anything. Too busy to go to dinner, too busy to take a lunch break, too busy to start a new project. It's almost like a badge of honor sometimes to say that you're busy when the reality is that no one is impressed by your "busyness." Because after all, "being busy" is like saying "you're stressed," it doesn't really describe what's going on because everyone could say that about their lives.
So, how do you get out of the rut of feeling like you never have time to do the things you want to do?
The first step is to realize that you can make time for things if you really want to. It's easy to not find the time to do something you're avoiding, but easy to find the time to do something that you're really excited about.
Maybe you don't think you have the time to find a hobby, but in reality, if you already knew what that hobby was that you're supper passionate about, you'd make time for it no matter what. It's important to take the time to really think about what would excite and light you up, rather than what you enjoyed in the past and feel like that's what you're supposed to do.
After you realize that there's always time for the things you prioritize and enjoy, one of the best ways to REALLY find the time is by taking inventory on where your day is spent.
If you take your week and see where each hour of your day is going, you may find the time you didn't realize you had. For example, maybe you realized that you've actually been watching Netflix for 2 hours a night rather than one. That one extra hour could be the time you read a book or do yoga or take an online class.
In the beginning, it especially helps if you put this in your calendar. That way that time is blocked off and you don't get distracted with something else. For awhile I had things like meditate, read, or my workout in my calendar just to make sure I couldn't use the excuse that I didn't have time.
It just won't happen to me
This is one that I struggled with for a long time. You know how I was saying some mindsets can shift overnight and some take years? This one was one of those years ones for me and even today I still have to do the work to address it.
It's easy to perceive that SO many people are SO successful - especially with social media in the mix. It's easy to feel like there are so many people in this boat that there isn't room for me.
But the truth is there's room for everyone and the fact that whatever "it" is for you happened to your neighbor, cousin, or friend means that it's just as possible for you. This negative mindset also plays with the comparison game and once you can let go of your comparison habits, you're on your way to dropping the "it just won't happen to me" card.
Each time that you see someone accomplishes something that you're dreaming of (like REALLY dreaming of and is aligned with who you are and who you want to be - not a surface level that would be cool), tell yourself that seeing that is confirmation that it's available to you too. The more you start shifting into those thoughts, you'll realize it comes more and more natural to you and soon by the time you truly believe it deep down, you'll see it become your reality. Don't forget though that you have to put in the work too. Each time that you say this, think about the one thing that you're taking action on that day or week to make it a reality.
Negative talk becomes a reality the more you say it. The more you say something sucks, the more convinced you'll be that it's just the worst thing ever. This is especially a slippery slope when you start saying that everything sucks, even if it's just a joke.
This is where I struggle with 20 somethings constantly complaining about being in your 20s. A lot of the memes are funny, but when all you do is share those memes with your friends and don't balance them out with why your twenties are awesome, you're going to very quickly start to believe that being in your twenties is the worst and you just can't wait to turn 30. But with this mindset, the day you turn 30 is going to end up feeling the same if you aren't able to see the joy in the present.
The simplest way I have found to get out of that funk is daily gratitude. Before going to bed every night write down 3 things you're grateful for. If you don't have a notepad handy, jot it down in the notes on your phone. Once you get in the habit of this, you'll notice that your list starts to grow and it won't be hard anymore to come up with those three.
There's no way I can afford a trip this year
Trips can sound daunting when it comes to money. You start to think about, hotel, flight, and food and it quickly becomes a no, not happening.
But, what if you looked at it differently. If you plan well in advance, let's say booking a flight 6 months ahead, you now have the next 6 months to only focus on saving for food and lodging because the flight is covered. You can then use your planning skills to get creative with the cost of lodging and food. One of the best ways is to plan a group trip. If you rent a house with 5-7 people, you can really get the price down AND even better everyone can be in charge of cooking a meal which will also save everyone money.
Before quickly saying you can't afford a trip, think about if it's somewhere you really want to go and that you'll put in the time to plan it to make it happen. It could end up being one of the most amazing experiences you do all year that you miss out on just because you thought it was expensive when in reality it wasn't at all.
What mindsets have been holding you back and what are you doing to bust through them? Comment below!
P.S. This post is part of a series called "LA Babe State of Mind." It's all about the lifestyle changes that I adopted in LA that reduced my anxiety and made my life flow with ease. Check the other post in this series: 5 WAYS TO STAY ACTIVE IF YOU'RE AT A DESK ALL DAY LA BABE TOOLKIT FOR A NATURAL GLOW 5 WAYS TO BOOST ENERGY NATURALLY